The Black Lodge:  Aleister Crowley & the Ordo Templi Orientis.

Emails used by permission:  John F. Rychlicki III · Leilah Publications · All Rights Reserved ·

from :::

date     Mon, April 17, 2007 at 8:33 AM
subject Re: gd irf
thanks josh we got rid of all the regardie letters bb traded to some golden dawn group ::::::if you and kelli want to develope something great:::::: cherubim bb the oto creature people:::::::::::::i hope they boil in their own shit hehehhaw:::
See what’s free at
by Soror Inanna on Monday, April 11, 2011 at 7:09am
to me
show details 4/8/06
he is nuts, t hinking in the remotest fashion the oto could ever be a world influence and savior …… of this species …the oto is bills whoredom …… run by the son of a sargeant …….hehehehehehhe may they all eat shit and die ….. and let the worms sort them out greenfeld has missed the point, thinking in the remotest fashion the oto could ever be a world influence and savior …… of this species … at most the oto reflects the desperation to hold something together which has already failed at its inception— crowley’s fear of abortion simply reflects his chronic fear that his inherent inferiority would be discovered ………………… and that his existence was a result of terrible accident …..i do applaud greenfeld’s decision to step aside, not wanting to be painted with this tarnished brush ….the oto is …… run by the son of a sargeant ……. and he has applied his knowledge with complete fidelity …….the best solution to them is to ignore them ….. and let the worms sort them out

Subject: crowley-caliphate rights
DrHyatt@****”  to ******
Date: Tue, 6 May 2003 14:38:13 EDT

they bought them back a month ago, bb signed, price is confidental…..i gave the archives to oto, as a non profit so they would have a placeto live after my death, he traded them for some crowley material to a gd group, and informed me after the event ……regardies 9th was removed according to bb when crowley and fir had their fight ….. so “it would be wrong to give it back to him.” even after his death…now, to be clear, bb has not thrown me out of the oto, i think he is scared, simple as that, i wish he would, it would make a nice chapter in one of my books…….under no conditions do i trust him any longer, too many lies, delays, deceit, particularly when i brought him out on my money from europe to meet with all the 9ths, i gave him the money some 1500.00 for this trip, not the oto, so i didnt claim it as a deduction…… I gave this man my loyalty and complete support and in his disgusting fashion flung me into his pile of used toys. this man makes decisions  as if were god and expects everyone to find his “logic” and his notion of “fairness” without blemish ….. i was a fool. you may publish this, “dr hyatt says he was a fool for supporting the oto and bb with his heart, money, love and time ……. i have been foolish in my life, but this, is on the top of my personal stupidity “ list.”

From: DrHyatt
Date: Tue, 6 May 2003 08:51:57 EDT
To: koenig at

Well Peter, is it? I took a stand on one member libeling another in the order. the topic was over an interview i had allowed a member to use and then he claimed it as his property, another member said it wasnt, and the first member started calling him names in a public forum …….. i told the us kingpin that i would take the side of the harmed member and if necessary take legal action …….. the head kingpin didnt respond in any helpful manner, and i told him that i didnt recognize his authority or for that matter bb ……… the us kingpin asked me if i really meant what i said, and i said yes, he asked me again, and i said yes, and again, and i said yes, so finally he “suspended me”….. the international oto boss has not done so yet, but he should as i stated clearly, that i am not taking orders from him either …… i have donated tens of thousands of dollars to this group, promises were broken time and again, regarding my 9th as well a books, so i am done with them, they have bought back their copyrights from falcon and they have turned one of their most loyal members into a lifetime enemy ……. bb also refused to give regardie back his 9th after the old mans death, and the never ending negative statements made against regardie by some of the upper boys drives me mad to no end…..
feel free to write

Date: Wed, 7 May 2003 11:00:37 EDT
In answer to your question regarding my “suspension” from the OTO, may i say this: I simply stated that I refuse to recognize the US King or his Boss as having authority over me……. I have been a loyal member for many years, having helped financially in a significant fashion, been an advisor helping in legal and other matters…..I was misinformed regarding a number of matters, and a number of promises made to me have been broken…….at this time I am awaiting suspension from the International OTO, overall i am now a leper in waiting having been discarded as a perpetual trouble maker….. I hope this answers your question and puts your concerns at ease…… Thank you, C.S. Hyatt, Ph.D.

Date: Wed, 7 May 2003 11:32:41 EDT
I have read the material you referred me to, and find nothing new there
……. i am surprised by the lack of anyone winning a lawsuit against
the OTO……..and i am not suprised about how many lawsuits they win, even “defending Lon” against the bludder he made ……. why so, everytime they win, everyone loses …… it makes them stronger …..what is needed is something that will work, once and for all, and i suggest that you might organize such an effort …… have any plans…. copyrights will not work …. they did everything in their power to buy falcon rights back, they did not want a suit there, and gave falcon almost complete permission to quote most anything in the future, something unheard of from bb ……. his publishing venture is now the weakest spot …… along with some items you mentioned

Date: Thu, 8 May 2003 08:01:49 EDT
first, let me inform you that i am not alturist …… my goal in life
is not to help people qua people …… second, i hold four advanced degrees, have been a fellow at major universities and have post doc work third, i have been lic as a clinician and practiced for 12 years in addition to a two year hospital internship …. my degrees are in statistics/neruoscience/brain mapping/medical education/clinical-psychology/human behavior-criminal justice ….i have invented a statistic, which is now used, and has been published by other researchers, have written significant peer reveiwed articles, co authored and authored numerous books and have had a number of them translated into four languages. all of this to say that i am not inticed by a public forum to protect people against the oto or any other group … politically i might be called a libertarian……. my favorite philosopher F.W. Neitzsche who i have studied since 20, and i am now 60. by training i lean toward freud, having studied him from 17. my interest in you is your knowledge about my enemy ……an enemy of my enemy is my friend …… lon is the person who initiated me into the oto….. i was “seduced” by him, his wife, and james wasserman to join the oto……i joined because of regardie, a few years after firs death……i had a lot of fun with lon and his group……before things got serious. they wanted my name, my money, and my influence……and they got it……..lon also stated that he should have been caliph…..when it came time to choose a king lon thought it would be him, but as usual bb chose someone more like him, in fact a carbon…… course bb interest in the new king had other motives which one might call the sanctury of the gnosis… fill in the rest. lon and i are on friendly on very distant terms…… in passing you should keep in mind that one of bb goals is to rid the order of gradys ninths having only his……most are all yes men, they are scared of him, for what reason i do not fathom …..

Date: Thu, 8 May 2003 13:18:36 EDT
fruitful? helping the cause of thelema simple as that …… i dont mrecall when i first met him………..sometime in the very early 90s…….. are you kidding, i bought a german collection of books, numerous other items for the archives, 10s of thousands of dollars, stipends for writing books, helping pay rent, the list is never ending, donations for lawsuits etc. if you must know i was very dedicated to the cause…..

Date: Thu, 8 May 2003 17:04:10 EDT
sally quit because of a govt invest of a member of her lodge
……….. there were a few other heavy hitters, and some mild ones,
like nick at falcon ……. there are the people in europe who are more successful who have money ….. i gave him a number of 5000 stipends plus tons of other things, to help the “cause.” what is with graeb why does he need to be loved by bill and the oto …..?

Date: Thu, 8 May 2003 18:52:27 EDT
good night, i just received an email issued from the most high, that everyone 5th or higher should change their password on a certain yahoo group …… because “peter koenig” had broken it …… it was not sent to me directly, but one of my friends in the oto sent it to me ….. in passing the lodge here has been completely destroyed by the ec, after 20 years, they sent in an sgig, other than me when i was active, to investigate, did not inform me that “it” was here, and then the lodge became an oasis, and then the oasis became nothing ….. non existent …. i had increased membership due to my presence and got a 5th degree chapter besides, now they destroyed the entire group ……. in interest of the new order. interesting?

this may be in response to a scathing letter i wrote sb stating why
wasnt i copied on the my offical explusion letter ……. telling him
he and his boss are experts at turning a one time loyal member and
friend into an eternal enemy …… hehehe i also said that they are
forcing me into your hands as i learned about the original letter from prk…….i also stated that i am waiting for bb to expell me from the international group ….. as usual there was no response to me apologizing for not coping me …..the phx group was destroyed as it was in the model of the older oto when people did initations and had fun ……. strict obedience is now the rule ….. obey or else…… there are some other holes in the dyke and now is the time to create more fear in their hearts……… do your best i know you are a data collector

Who is Peter-R. Koenig?
“I need no warrant for being, and no word of sanction upon my being. I am the warrant and the sanction.” – Ayn Rand

Peter-R. Koenig is a collector of data, sometimes called a gatherer of data, g.o.d. for short. He likes to solve puzzles and in particular the one sold as cOTO…..I don’t know Peter well, I knew of his reputation as an evil character who was attacking the “thelemic current” of the Coto.

We first talked when he copied me on my suspension from the US CoTo. I never received a copy of the official suspension. I was simply informed that I was suspended and have lost all my powers for refusing to recognize the authority of the US Chief and of course the Grand Chief….

Prior to this I was a member in real good standing having donated thousands upon thousands of dollars to support the Coto in its defense against its enemies and to improve its library….

Somehow after throwing a number of temper tantrums for not receiving my twice promised 9th degree and eternal delays on books which I had paid stipends for completion, I was, if you would, “put aside.” much like a worn set of shoes….

The once confident, advisor and supporter had worn out his welcome, however, to publicly acknowledge this could cause some embarrassing problems, and even perhaps some legal ones. But I went to sleep moving onto other things……that is until they awoke this sleeping giant… destroying the local lodge and then oasis, and taking the side of an individual who to say it nicely took ownership to one of my copyrighted pieces …… with this churning my bowels I told the bosses that I no longer recognized them as authorities and after asking me three times if I really meant it, I finally said, cant you read, I received a personal notice of suspension but a never a copy of the one that went out to members of the lover and hermit triad, but wait, in order for me not to be bothered and to protect my privacy they didn’t send me one, nor one to the general coto population….. kind of them?

So here comes the gather of data and sends (Peter-R. K) me a copy of this little note, designed to protect me …… I am angry that no one had the manners to copy me ….. and thought it “clever” on how they did not want the general coto population to know, because after all I am Dr. Hyatt, a well know student of Dr. Regardie, author, etc. etc. etc. It seems that Dr., Hyatt and Dr. Regardie share more than a personal history of some 15 years, but the honor of suspended, removed, leperized by the Coto. But to be honest I have not been removed from the International Coto…..they want me to be a member for some, no doubt spiritual reason, but someone whispered in my ear that there might be more sinister reasons, I will let the reader guess what they might be ……..

Prior to my suspension I was informed by the US Chief and one of his cronies that I had taken oaths to protect the Coto…they were correct, however, the Supreme Chief relieved me of these oaths, indirectly and no doubt unintentionally, when he told me that all the promises he made to me and in fact I to him were and are conditional……in my feeble way I took this to mean oaths as well, as they are promises after all……So with all of this we ask who is Peter-R. Koenig, I frankly don’t know, except he is polite and friendly as he gathers data from the latest leper and victim of the COTO……..some might say he is using me and I him, but what is wrong with use, when you have been misused because you believed in brotherhood, promises and the COTO…… I say mutual use is a virtue ……. so for today I end my discussion of who is Peter-R. Koenig ….. but keep in mind tomorrow is another day ……. I will say more…….. .much more, but now the old man needs a nap…..
Thanks for listening
Dr Hyatt 5/9/03 CE


Dr. Christopher S. Hyatt on Dr. Francis Israel Regardie & the Golden Dawn:

Some Interesting Issues…

Before Dr. Regardie died he asked me to continue his work, particularly in the area of publishing.

Considering the ups and downs of the economy, the bankruptcy of a number of important distributors, and the general change of complexion in the industry as a whole, we give ourselves a letter grade of B. Other than the Complete Golden Dawn, demand for Dr. Regardie’s work published by New Falcon has been moderate. There are a number of possible reasons.

Regardie didn’t want anyone to centralize the Golden Dawn. Every one of his private students knew of this requirement. I, of course, promised that I would not attempt to control the Golden Dawn and for this I give myself a letter grade of A.

However, I can’t say the same for some others, many of whom have tried to monopolize the activities of Golden Dawn as their own fiefdom. As usual they assert that they are doing it for mankind and, as usual, only fools believe such attempts at transforming greed into altruism. In my feeble attempt to counter this coup, I have created-or helped to create-functional (and dysfunctional) operating Temples. Some of these have been a practical success while others have been outright failures-as I intended them to be. However, one thing is clear: they exist and their very existence resists the attempts to “own” the Golden Dawn. For this I give myself a letter grade of B.

Even more disturbing than the attempt to monopolize the Golden Dawn is the misuse of Regardie as a steppingstone and authority.

These upstarts misused Dr. Regardie as a power base and then demeaned him. These were attempts at ad hominem character assassination. These “remarks” range from calling Regardie a fool or lacking in knowledge, to spreading rumors, to fabrications and derision surrounding the circumstances of his death. The maneuver of using a person and then demeaning him is not uncommon for individuals who lack real substance of their own.

Finally, Dr. Regardie is sometimes accused of betraying Crowley by exposing his faults in The Eye in the Triangle. Dr. Regardie’s analysis of Crowley is essential to unravel the truth, as both Crowley and his followers have obfuscated an entire body of knowledge in decorative pastels. Regardie is often “hated” because, as one member of Crowley’s clan has said, “How dare Regardie psychologize the prophet of the New Aeon! This is why Regardie suffered and why his reputation is questioned-this is why Crowley will be remembered and Regardie forgotten.” Assertions such as these often amaze me-as their authors attempt to pass off their need for hero worship as moral imperatives. It is both funny and pathetic what a fool can do with a few footnotes. Wild assertions, academic style and clichés cannot take the place of critical thinking.

The attempt to fling Dr. Regardie to the far reaches of hell-or worse, a footnote or two-not been successful, although at times it has seemed so. Books have been published which slowly removed Regardie as a major force in the Golden Dawn, while some followers of Crowley have attempted to ignore him because Crowley and Regardie had such an awful row.

We know that the return of the Complete Golden Dawn System of Magic, in its second edition, will help bring Dr. Regardie back into the richness of the light which he so deeply deserves.

Standards, Elitism, Equality and Magic…
If you needed a heart transplant you might search for a surgeon with the best rate of success. We can define success as the highest number of patients who survived the operation, the length of time before symptoms reappeared, and possibly the quality of the patient’s life after surgery. Assuming you wanted to survive, these standards-and others-might make up your selection criteria.

On the other hand, if you didn’t want to survive, you would use different standards. With this idea in mind, I will conclude that no matter what you do, you have standards-and by this I include those “standards” fostered by politicians, newscasters, grammar-school teachers and derelicts. (However, if you held their “standards” you probably would have not purchased this book.)

I have standards and I assert they are based on what is defined as success, quality of life and a general feeling of well-being. I do not base my decisions or actions on what the mentally defective might do. If I have a dollar set aside for donation I will give it to a hungry genius working on the origins of life, and forego helping the inadequate. If I had two dollars I would give both to the hungry genius.

Dr. Regardie also had standards and they were not those of the “crucified one.” He was an elitist and, though he sometimes failed both in judgment and results, he held to his standards nonetheless. He was kind to people, polite and concerned. However, he chose his company as carefully as he could.

Dr. Regardie donated or gave his money (and heart) to promising students in college and magic as well as to a few occult and non-occult organizations. The weak, stupid and lame were not on his donation list. He gave value to what he valued. He was not interested in the applause of bleeding-heart, guilt-ridden weaklings. One of his concerns, as is mine, are the programs designed to weaken the individual through blatant overindulgence and the teaching of self-hate which has been inculcated into the minds of the healthy and capable by a decadent morality. He fought this at every opportunity.

Elitism in this context is to support and admire the best, not the worst. This doesn’t mean harming others who do not meet these standards; it simply means withholding value from them.

Dr. Regardie never attempted to reduce the best to the worst for the sake of pity. In this sense neither of us supported the politically correct notion of equality. Our attitude has led to both of us being ostracized by many occult groups-which includes most Crowley organizations. Let me make this point very clear.. . . . . Dr. Regardie was a Thelemite, something of a Jeffersonian Democrat, or a Libertarian.. . . . . However, he realized that Thelema and most political groups behaved in the exact opposite of the values and theories espoused by their founders. Although offered a high-ranking position in a number of organizations-including the OTO-he politely refused. Keep in mind that, though Dr. Regardie was a gentleman publicly, privately he could be quite vicious concerning the weak and lame who headed and populated most Occult groups.

Magic is the attempt to control paranormal or natural forces, by ritual, imagination and other techniques, to conform to the will of the operator. The term “will” in this context refers to the “force of desire.” The control of paranormal forces can mean learning from “higher powers” to finding the right mate. Some individuals regard some forms of magic as either black or white. Apparently this means that black magic correlates with self-interest and harming others, while white magic relates to spiritual pursuits and helping others. Magic, however, is magic, regardless of what ends one pursues or how you might moralize about the means used to accomplish the end. Like science, magic must remain amoral-uninfluenced by any set of standards except knowledge and results.. ….

In summary, Regardie espoused the theory that, like science, magic was an objective practice…… the ritual either accomplished its ends or not.. …. Though Regardie was a generous and caring person, he never regarded his personal values from a moral perspective nor demanded that others behave like himself.

Dr. Regardie had very high standards although, like all of us, he often failed at realizing them.. . He was a strong advocate of elitism and was horrified by what I now call the new age plague.. … .which has distorted and obfuscated magic and science through a neopuritanical ethic, eulogized through a greatly watered down Judeo/Christian/Islamic morality.. …. The ethic of the new age, which in my view is now dwindling, is a combination of regressive self-indulgence and self-hate.. … .two programs of self-destruction whose time has come and gone. We are now moving into a new era, neither better nor worse than the one we are emerging from.. …. This is not the so-called Aeon of Horus, but another.. …. The Aeon of Horus has come and gone in an instant and, like all minor influences, has left behind its refuse. With all of this said, we at Falcon hope that you find this new edition both more useful and enjoyable.

-Christopher S. Hyatt, Ph.D.
17 November 2002 CE
St. Thomas, USVI

“crowley’s fear of abortion simply reflects his chronic fear that his inherent inferiority would be discovered ………………… and that his existence was a result of terrible accident …”
Christopher S. Hyatt, Ph.D. April 8, 2006.


When it comes to “enemies of Thelema” and an adversary to O.T.O. and other Thelemic consortia, a close friend I will called “Kelli” (to protect her privacy) has long been established as a formidable adversary to the upper degree ranks of the O.T.O. Kelli, known by many of her occult monikers such as Soror Hoor AmentiiPadishah Khalifah, Soror Inanna, and countless other Internet personas is a former member of the O.T.O., expelled for allegedly uploading private documents to public Internet servers. Ms. Holloran contacted a good friend and I in Arizona. I met her for the first time in 2003 and found her a capable magician and intelligent student of ancient religion and sociology.

Unfortunately, I later discovered through my conversations with Ms. Holloran and Dr. Christopher S. Hyatt that the reason behind her communications with us, and I was to divulge if we were an antagonist to the O.T.O. or Dr. Hyatt’s publishing ventures. We were neither. My observations of Ms. Holloran’s invectives against the O.T.O.
led me to conclude that in lieu of the abuse and harassment she clearly experienced in the O.T.O., she became
neurotically obsessed with obstructing and criticizing O.T.O. on the Internet. She would create and manage numerous blogs, websites, and forums usually attracting the self-medicating vitriol she sought, often deleting her projects within weeks or months. Holloran’s subterfuge and 72 insurgency against O.T.O. and other Thelemic consortia ultimately led to psychosis and delusion, even sexist and selfharming

Kelli, Soror Hoor Amentii summarizes her calamities with the O.T.O.:

If anyone wants to know why I joined the O.T.O. (American Caliphate) in 1994, it was primarily because of the /Book of the Law/. The /BOTL/ had spoken to me in a heightened state of consciousness and when a member asked me if I wanted to join (I had already been in communication with several of their members in two cities and present at functions and events) I decided that based on /The Book of the Law/ (accepting that), I would.  One of the primary tenets of the /BOTL/ that “spoke to me was “Let the woman be girt with a sword before me.” I saw this in a statue — it was a statue of Maat.

The sword is Maat, behind that is Horus. All of these are only images of male and female.  I first noticed discrepancies of the Book of the Law with several of Crowley’s writings or creations right away. Some of them may have been personal interpretations of various male O.T.O. members (my boyfriends and child’s father as well as other lodge or camp masters), but the Priestess who really received me into the Order had this under control, apparently (until her untimely death).  In 1997 this Priestess, Soror Bufo, Camp Mistress of Christobel Wharton Hoopsnake Camp in Tucson, AZ. In addition, developer of animated films about the Holy Books of Thelema (unpublished) and many other profound artistic works was murdered execution style. 

Read again: WAS MURDERED EXECUTION STYLE. They have never discovered her murderer. While she was not my Initiator she should have been, the person in control was a dwarfed size mini of incapability. Either way she was the Priestess of the GM, and camp mistress.

She was shot in the back of the head when a someone entered her home in Tucson and shot her (June 1997). They have never found the killer.  My boyfriend (who had asked me to join the OTO and to which I agreed as referenced above) was her boyfriend before me for 3 years. He “disappeared” into thin air for months after her death. He did not even attend her wake. Various people attended it at Luna Loca cafe in Tucson. A few OTO members from Phoenix showed their support and were brethren. But, the Tucson OTO members really didn’t seem to care that much. The highest degree member down there (not my boyfriend, my so-called Initiator) did not show his support and seemed to think she deserved it. I am not joking.

He was also very good friends with my ex-boyfriend “The Rapist” (who later was given a camp by the OTO for a short time called “Sun and Moon Camp”). The story as follows:
I decide to be a priestess in their mass with the priest being the ex boyfriend “The Rapist” (later he was master of Sun and Moon camp). He never showed up to the Mass so Soror Bufo (who was murdered execution style in June 1997, 3 years later) was my priest.

I realize there was an extreme problem with the Gnostic Mass, primarily the lack of female saints. I confront the above-mentioned “high degree” member (my initiator although I would say he was NEVER my initiator by his juvenile behavior) after a heightened state of consciousness about the lack of female saints and inquire why is Mohammed a saint. In my level of awareness I realize this person’s response is a load of crap and unreasonable. Whatever anyone wants to argue (insert here) the argument is invalid as to why there are no female saints. All the way unto a gnostic interpretation in its highest — and hence that there are no female saints is an affront to Thelema — based on the form of gnosis and Identity. There is no protocol by which anyone can even argue this valid. And the fact by which that they desire to illustrate Aeon of Osiris (gnostic ideologies) as opposed to Aeon of Horus. It is as simple as that.

I continued to be a dues paying member but I never do another gnostic mass again..

I took my IInd degree in around 1995 and through this discourse, I meet another guy who becomes a Camp Master (he is a camp master when I become pregnant with his child). I immediately realize after arguments and fighting that I will not be his “priestess” because the situation shows two problems: they are not conducting themselves at all like a Profess house as described in Crowley’s writing — with treatment of pregnant women. Instead they are acting like little egotistical small phallus having jerk offs perpetrating domestic violence. And, with their little “old boys club” collaborative, I became acutely aware that they intended to keep the female “”sexually” (babylon) subversive as opposed to by “chastity” or “virginity.” The control factor being the same sum game (OSIRIS).

And on top of that — they are controlling about their very literature. So the first item up for grabs is someone sending him Arte De Magica / De Arte Magica by Crowley. I see it on his computer screen and read it. He throws an alcoholic fit/rage etc., and commits violent acts against me while pregnant. He then says I’m on “bad report” and tries to expel me from his camp. None of this is professional or business – like. I leave and have many experiences beyond comprehension with the birth of my child. None of that is for public read at this time. I am living with and without the guy while he continues his OTO alcoholic rage existence in Chicago.

Move to Chicago and involve myself in both his initiation charter papers for local members at Aum Ha and leave after some female from the camp are in my house having sex with him with my small child there, on top of the alcoholic rage/abuse I am receiving). (I Move to my own apt. in Chicago).

I move back to Tucson. This is when Soror Bufo gets murdered execution style. Mind you, I had not talked to her since 1995 before I had my daughter and didn’t know where she was at the time. I had intended to bring my daughter to meet her but I could never find out where she was. I didn’t have many connections since returning to the area, except psycho stalker Initiator guy and my ex-boyfriend “The Rapist” who happened to see me in a thrift store (unless he followed me from somewhere?). And, my boyfriend, DJ at the strip club I worked at. Not really involved in the OTO, trying to raise my kid and go to college.  I had some communication with the Initiator guy — but mostly not involved because I’m working a lot. With now full on stalkeresque rapist ex-boyfriend randomly coming to my house — I started feeling threatened.

After she was killed, “the Rapist” started showing up at my house a lot all of a sudden. He acted very strange and withdrawn at first. I just thought it was grief but mind you previously, this same guy had strangled me and threatened to kill me in his tree house in the woods.  All of this is a fact. He seemed to have bipolar disorder and act REALLY violent murder style all of a sudden mood swings. Yes, I passed out the time he strangled me. He also raped me one time and said it was because I had a “rape fantasy.” I almost smashed his head in with a Horus statue sitting by my hand but I didn’t because I thought I’d end up in a worse criminal situation than letting this jerk off get it over with.  But I wouldn’t put it past him (murder, rape, anything — he’s ultra-scary). I informed the OTO this they still gave him a camp. Anyone can challenge it but it is a fact that remains a fact.

Why was I even hanging out with him? OUT OF FUCKING STUPIDITY. But I was. So he came over with me and my daughter there and seemed stalkerish. Yes, he was official in OTO along with his creepy Initiator friend. Right then my baby daddy (the other violent guy who was a OTO Initiator now but had given up his camp in Chicago to supposedly come and help me take care of our daughter). He came and this other OTO weird “The Rapist” /attempted murderer (and murder suspect) guy were sort of fighting. Baby daddy mad he was hanging around and I was letting him hang around because i hated baby daddy and wanted him to MOVE OUT. Why? he is violent gets drunk and threatens me.

He had only been there from Chicago for 3 months at the time. The whole thing was a fight over the Gnostic Mass. Everyone wanted to do it and I was in the middle of this bizarre thing with psycho narcissists. So one time my child’s father (the alcoholic who had the initiation charter but had left his camp in Chicago) hits me in the face 10 times and goes to jail. This starts a whole OTO investigation BECAUSE I told “The rapist” ex-boyfriend who tells the Initiator who doesn’t seem to care that Amy was murdered who tells the “big wigs” and the Electoral College (namely Christopher S. Hyatt) including Sabazius and other yahoos about this guy hitting me. They then try to question me and I tell them to fuck themselves I’m busy, they act like I have computer access or something and I seem to be busy–They are DEMANDING I respond to their investigation by certain days — that by the time I could even check

“EMAIL” (back in 1998 mind you) the day had already been long gone.  This was demanding and harassment instigated and perpetrated into a whole bunch of jerk off situations. All the way to the HIGHEST
MEMBER.  For the past 12 years I have been going to school trying to get rid of two psychopathic losers and had no time for their investigation in 1998, nor internet access. Plus I need money at the time and had become homeless after this huge victimization against me: being beat by my baby daddy, being threatened to be killed by the stalker ex rapist boyfriend (both with Camp Masters and one with an Initiation Charter).  I thank them for introducing me to narcissistic sociopaths who are attracted to Crowley.

Look around you. I am lucky to have survived all of that. Anyone who reads that and says anything but AWE and WTF is like someone that finds a murder victim and says “Oh well” and walks on by.  I go back to the baby daddy a few times and finally move to a shelter. I go through hell with this baby daddy and the OTO tries to investigate the situation and eventually throws him out. I resign after 10001 items of MALE CRAP DOWN YOUR THROAT because I just get sick of their crap. It isn’t like it ends here — it starts here and snowballs all the way down the line. The rest of THAT story is in the “Thelema” group. This is not about OTO per se but Crowley and his works and do these thing violate the New Aeon as well as the Book of the Law? Yes. Where are these things? EGC and OTO. My experience with the OTO and resigning is written in another document.  The fact is the rituals all the way to the top are anti-female. My experiences are a PHYSICAL REPRESENTATION of what is in the higher degrees. They try to act pro-babylon (and I don’t mean the OTO — I mean CROWLEY. He wrote it). The Gnostic Mass, de Natura Deorum, art de magica and Liber Agape.

It puts the female as reflection of male solar SUN. She is a moon. It’s in the BOTL but they fail to realize that genders are an illusion. BE THOU HADIT MY SECRET CENTER MY HEART AND MY TONGUE is ME. It is you. It is everyone in the Aeon of Horus. Not the Priest or the Priestess. It is not bad to have a physical representation of one’s religion and call it sacred — it is a travesty to fail to see the signs when it creates degradation of the Life force. Imposing sexuality on a female is just as oppressive as imposing chastity. Our Lady Babylon is 77 Our Lady of Guadalupe is Mother Mary. Any fetish of what the female should be (mother Isis or mother Babylon or mother anything) is merely someone’s imposition of WHAT THE FEMALE SHOULD BE. See here’s the thing: the female should be FREE. It is very clear in RA HOOR KHUIT who is a combination of Nuit and Hadit. It is not male even though Crowley seems to have used language to represent it as such. That is only his own anthropomorphisation of the god to himself.  

It is NOT male — nor female. It is neither — it contains both. The woman girt with a sword is a part of it as it is a vengeful god is part of it.  This is where the Gnostic Mass fails to grasp hold of it (the New Aeon).  And, this needs a serious revision. The problem I think with the OTO  (unless they have changed since I left in 2000 era vulgaris) is not that they have old aeon technologies — but that they defend them vehemently and with a dogma and then refuse to change. Some people told me I could make more changes from within. Maybe so but I joined the Catholic church later and can do that too…. there’s changes on these levels to be made EVERYWHERE. It will roll over us like a steamroller whether we like it or not. They are finally beginning to realize that nature CANNOT be controlled. And, control of nature and the female is a very central part of their old aeon tradition. No one ever likes to give up hold and power over something. And the fight will be tenuous whether you believe me or not.
Soror Inanna

Kelli’s unfortunate narration offers a concise insight into the self-victimization that pervades ex cult members. Unlike her mythical namesake, “Inanna” is a generic victim severely damaged over years of abuse from not only the O.T.O. but of the worst kind – self-inflicted.

Illuminati are indispensable to human brain engineering, genetics, arts, social strata, and technological advancement. It is the arcane traditions of the Xristos, synchronized from Egyptian theology and Hermeticism that enable the twin pillars of art and science in the Western Mystery Traditions. Illuminati are indispensable, but modern occult organizations and their spurious personalities are not.  Checks and balances are obligated against occult organizations that have become merely a shell of shells in the Invisible College, spurning initiations laced with lineage disputes, and internecine group melodrama.

Modern occult groups and their personalities have grown more absorbed in presentation, especially on the Internet, ignoring magical content and development of personal power. Rituals and degrees have lost their mystique and relevance when readily available on the Internet at the click of fingers, rather than a physical journey to a lodge, library, workshop, or university.  No longer is there such a thing as “occult.”

One of the major differences between individuals who pursue and study the fine arts, classics, and common individuals in the human condition is the ability to experience the entire spectrum of existence, to adapt and change their environment according to their desire. Occultism often attracts narcissistic personalities who have a grandiose sense of self-value, and they consistently overestimate and overvalue their endowments. They exaggerate their accomplishments and are boastful, arrogant, and pretentious. Many have real talents and abilities, most are simply legends in their own mind tending not to test themselves in the natural echelons.

Their identities are codependent on their emotions, expending critical amounts of energy guarding against feelings of shame, humiliation and protecting them from criticism. It is not uncommon for them to be easily wounded and oscillate between guarding feelings of superiority, against having anyone finding out how inferior they feel compared to their delusions of superiority.  Occult personalities, such as Crowley and his Thelemic cult, Golden Dawn personalities Griffin, Zink, and Cherubim are very status oriented and prefer to be with admirers or others who can maintain and inflate their feelings of artificial prodigy.

These megalomaniacs have a strong sense of entitlement, often denied them in professional, social, and academic environments preferring to focus their feelings on lacking qualities. They incapable of taking responsibility for their behavior while ignoring ensuing consequences and prefer to blame others for their moral and professional failures. Their poise is artificial, as they expend maximum efforts in denying, hiding, and lying about their moral failure.

Their relationships are frequently superficial. People are regarded either as a danger to their artificially superior status, or as a booster, enabling approval or serving as an audience. While they may be very good at showing concern for others, especially within a group setting, it is a sham. They lack real compassion and emotional depth, too preoccupied with their grandiose fantasies, keeping themselves from feelings of despair, sadness, and emptiness. As a rule their relationship are short and artificial.

They do not see the world clearly; because they are blinded by feelings of entitlement, and delusions of grandeur. They remain unaware of their neuroses, unaware their minds are lost in delusion. Individuals like Griffin, Breeze, and Cherubim who are in positions of artificial “influence” are quickly wounded, often silently, at the slightest perceived insult.

Such perceptions descend into paranoia, and feelings of depression, aggression, and recrimination. My experiences in observance of several occult personalities like Griffin, Breeze, Cherubim, and Thelemites indicates that if these individuals do not resolve issues of entitlement they are physically unhealthy, unattractive, and unintelligent, unable to apply intelligence professionally and artistically.  Their strategies for coping moral and artistic failure is to increase their level of controlling behavior. Some become eccentric and withdraw from life into esoteric pursuits, joining occult orders and working their way up artificial magical rankings where they can verify that they are chosen, unique, and special.

Some even provoke intense persecution and crucifixion of sorts to prove their grandiose neuroses. They have extreme difficulty in accepting the proposition that nature is arbitrary, capricious, and beautifully chaotic. It is difficult for them to accept themselves and life without a story of grandeur and entitlement. Hence, they attract themselves to grandiose spiritual titles or characters, such as “Grand Master,” “Founder,” or even “Antichrist.”

Thelema is an occult philosophy centred on neo-Gnosticism, Witchcraft, hedonism, and Nietzschian will-based philosophies popularized by Edward Alexander Crowley {Aleister Crowley} around the year A.D. 1904. Copious cultish organizations have sprouted and multiplied during and after Crowley’s lifetime, many of them in their own machinations professing some version of Crowley’s teachings.  If we exclude the deformed sense of reality that so often bleeds from questionable characters associated with the “Occult,” Crowley’s teachings and literature were in essence a plagiarism of Christian Gnosticism mixed with ceremonial magic, the hyper-Cynicism of Diogenes of Siope, Nietzsche’s will-based philosophies and the hedonism of Francois Rabelais and Marquis D.A.F. de Sade.

All cults stem from a fundamentalism root often from within an established religious tradition. Cults can exploit and abuse members psychologically conditioning the new proselytes into a deformed sense of reality and ideologies.  Cults with elaborate and often emotional means of indoctrination often manipulate and wage authoritarian mind control over members. Cults, such as Crowley’s “Thelema” are communal totalistic in their organization. Individuals join because of what the group does for them – namely, fulfill and exploit unconscious psychological needs.